


A Simple Readers Weirdness

by SariaHael



Category: Clover no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Clover, Heart no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Hearts, Joker no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country ofJoker
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:23:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SariaHael/pseuds/SariaHael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader Insert story- So many men, so little time. How is Reader-tan supposed to keep up with it all! So far we have Joker and Ace. Who shall be next? Send me your requests and find out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. JokerxReader

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is my first story in a long time, so I hope it’s good. If you’d like to make a readerxwhoever request, tell me! Joker is my absolute favorite guy(s) in all of Wonderland, so I hope you enjoy it! I’ll put more stuff about the requests at the bottom of this fic.  
> Annotation Guide  
> (y/n)-Your name  
> (h/l)-Hair length  
> (h/c)-Hair color  
> (e/c)-Eye color  
>  Commentss are love~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Black and White~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today started off pretty weird. Then again, it’s always pretty weird in Wonderland, what with the random time changes and the fact that every person here will fall in love with you, no exceptions. Most are still pining over Alice (a sweet if a bit naive girl), but you’ve noticed some interested glances being shot your way from time to time. While flattering at first, now it makes you really uncomfortable. Especially around Ace. If that guy jumps you to listen to your heart and possibly rape you one more FREAKING TIME-  
But back on topic. It was a weird morning, which matched the rest of Wonderlands weirdness, and truth be told you were getting sick of it. All you wanted was a bit of normalcy, time with people that weren’t contemplating jumping your bones, was that too much to ask? You didn’t think so. And Alice didn’t count, since she was practically attached to the asshole Bloods hip. Call you a slut huh? You’ll show him who’s boss one of these days… Anyways…  
You decided to go on a walk, just to be by yourself. You packed a few sandwiches, and set off into the woods. In hindsight, that wasn’t your best plan. As you walked along, you noticed the trees getting thicker around you. Worried you’d get your (h/l) (h/c) caught in the branches, you ducked down, squinting your (e/c) eyes against the onslaught of leaves. Unfortunately, due to this eye-squinting, you didn’t notice that you were coming to a large drop off till you were tumbling down it. You screamed, and hit the all-of-a-sudden extremely close ground with a hard THUD. Your vision tunneled, and just before you drifted off into the land of darkness and dreams, you blearily noticed the trees had multicolored signs on them.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~White and Black~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
You slowly drifted back into the world of the waking, and your vision was assaulted with a red haired clown smiling beatifically down at you. It was Joker, White to be specific. His presence didn’t help your headache one freaking bit. I mean, he’s handsome, and nice, and has a dark side which is kinda sexy, but you went on your walk to get away from the weirdness. It’s just your luck that you’d end up with one of the weirdest roleholders in Wonderland.  
“Ah, it seems our little foreigner has come to! How are you feeling (y/n) dear?”  
“Let’s hope she’s not fucking brain damaged. The slut had barely any shitty brain cells to begin with!”  
Ah, there was Black, standing off to the side. You giggle despite yourself. Black was just too funny. Now, one may wonder why you find Black cussing you out hilarious, but Blood calling you names infuriating. It was an easy answer. Blood means it in the worst way possible, he wants you to be hurt and to feel insecure about yourself. Black was just a troll. A really funny, handsome, buff troll. So you were very cool with him. Nudge nudge wink wink.  
“Awww Black, you admit I have brain cells! That could be misconstrued as a compliment! I’m so proud of you! And yes, I’m fine White. Thanks for taking care of me! Umm” You look around, not recognizing the luxurious stone room. ”Where am I?”  
White laughs as Black fumes, grumbling that whatever brain cells you had were so fucking shitty that it didn’t matter whether you had them or not.  
“It was no trouble dear. As for where you are, this is Blacks room in the prison.”  
You raise one eyebrow in surprise. Black has taste?!?! Le gasp!!! Then again, White has taste, and aren’t they just two versions of one Joker, the only difference being how they express themselves? You think that’s how they explained it to you. Uhggg, thinking about it too hard makes your head throb painfully. You sit up and clutch at your head, a grimace marring your pretty face.  
“Oh my! You must have hit your head harder than we thought! Why don’t you just rest here for a while, till your head feels better?”  
You are tempted at the offer, but you see the gleam of something dark in the pair’s eyes. As much as you like them, and you do like them, you know they are the very definition of dangerous. And while being dangerous adds to their dark charm, you’re already injured. No need to get locked in some dank cell somewhere in the prison while you’re at it.  
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to decline. I told Boris I’d hang out with him after I went on my walk, and I wouldn’t want to keep him waiting!” Lies. You told no one about your walk in fear that someone would follow you or insist about coming along so that they may ‘protect’ you. Hmph. Yeah freaking right.  
They didn’t seem to buy it. Black stomped over to you, pinning you in place with his dark glare.  
“Listen bitch. You’re staying in this fucking bed until you’re actually able to stand up without fucking collapsing in agony! I’d ask if you were dropped on your head but I already know the fucking answer to that, don’t I?!?!”  
You send him a glare and stick out your tongue.  
“I am not in agony and I am not staying!”  
White sits on your other side and gently takes your hand in his.  
“Ah, but (y/n), we can see you’re in pain. How could we, in good conscious, let you leave when you may have a concussion?”  
You suppress a snort. Right, good conscious. Good conscious and Joker go together like oil and water. You attempt once more to get out of bed, but Whites strong grip on your hand and Blacks rough pushing on your shoulders sends you flying back into Whites chest. Black climbs onto the bed and directly in front of you. You’re trapped. Shit.  
“How rude, it’s almost as if our little foreigner didn’t want to be here. But of course that can’t be the case, right (y/n)?” His lips brush against the back of your neck as his breath tickle your ear. You shudder despite yourself. What should you say? What should you do?  
Black leans in on your other side, nuzzling your neck in a surprisingly gentle gesture.  
“Feh, even if it fucking was, we’d never let you go.”  
That startled you. Aside from the swearing, that sounded very White-like.  
“You may be slow, but even you have to understand this.”  
Was that White?!?!?! What was with the insults!!! And- OH MY GOD! White-or who you think is White-just licked your freaking neck and-OH MY GOD- he is sucking your neck!!! Your (e/c) eyes widen as Black raises his head from your neck-and it is Black, you can see his uniform-to look at you. A vicious smile lights up his handsome features as he leans in even closer. You can feel his warm breath playing across your lips as he kisses you, so impossibly gentle.  
Meanwhile, White is nipping a trail down your neck, silently marking his claim. You’re so confused, everything is all backwards. White is being aggressive and Black is being gentle. Has the world flipped upside down? Is the apocalypse nigh? Are cats and dogs raining from the-OH  
Taking advantage of your distraction, Black slips his tongue into your mouth, coaxing your tongue into action. You moan, slipping your arms around his neck. Both of the Jokers stiffen at the sound, before redoubling their efforts to drive you crazy. Black cups your face in his hands, stroking your red cheeks. White shifts his hand up your side and into your shirt, biting your ear between his abnormally sharp teeth.  
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful…”  
Who said that? Was it White, playing with your (h/c) locks as one hand travels underneath your shirt? Or was it black, who was peppering kisses across your face?  
“I’d do anything, kill anyone, so that you could stay.”  
You conclude, as you throw back your head to give them better access, that it was Joker speaking, not White or Black specifically. In this moment it was like they merged, one person with two bodies. Somehow you had attracted the most dangerous, weird roleholder in Wonderland. And God, you are absolutely okay with that.  
“I love you (y/n)”  
“I love you Joker.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Grey~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. AcexTsundere!Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’m doing my best to update while I’m in the ~zone~. This story request is from my first reviewer greensaber92, who is awesome. She requested a Tsunsdere!ReaderxAce fic, and I shall oblige (Ace is my second favorite anyways)... 
> 
> Annotation Guide 
> 
> (y/n)-Your name  
> (h/l)-Hair length  
> (h/c)-Hair color  
> (e/c)-Eye color
> 
> Now sit back, relax, and review at the end~

Heartbeat  
Stupid Ace. Stupid birds. Stupid forest. But most of all, stupid you. What the hell were you thinking? Really, you want to know? Who in their right mind would accept Ace’s help in getting somewhere? They must be fucked up in the head to-  
You know what, being pissed at yourself takes too much energy. You’d much rather be pissed at Ace. He’s the one that got the two of you here, wandering helplessly around the forest… Well, at least in your case. Ace, no matter how much of an idiot he is, has a sword and knows how to use it. Personally, you don’t know how he hasn’t lopped off an arm or something, all you can assume is that Ace has a severely overworked Guardian Angel. That is, if Wonderland even has angels…  
How long has it been since you were dropped here in this hell-hole? That day you had broken up with your ass of a boyfriend after discovering how much of a chronic liar he was. All the things he told you… the car, the job, the girl… Feh! It’s not like you really liked him, he was just a good kisser… and he treated you like a princess… Maybe that’s why you almost liked Ace. He was always pretty honest, to the point of being blunt…  
ACK! You tripped on a raised tree root, you guessed you deserved after zoning out so hard. Quick as lightning, Ace turned around and caught you in his arms, his usual cheerful smile firmly in place.  
“Haha~ Be careful (y/n)! You could have hit your head pretty hard!”  
You scowl, and jump out of his arms.  
“Oh shut it. Where the hell are we, anyways? You said you knew a quick way to the Clocktower, and that was two goddamn hours ago!!!”  
Ace scratched his head, looking befuddled.  
“Ahhh~ I don’t know. I could have sworn it was just over here… But it’s okay! I’ve never been in these woods before, exploring them is like an adventure~!”  
You swear you’re gonna pop a blood vessel. It’s gonna pop, and all of your blood is going to splatter on your face and it’ll ruin your clothes, cause if there’s one thing you’ve learned in Wonderland, it’s how hard it is to get bloodstains out of clothes.  
“Well you can play pretend adventures all you want, but I promised Julius I’d be at the fucking Clocktower already!!! I swear if you make me get one more punctuality lecture from him I’m gonna-“  
Ace interrupts you mid-rant, pointing at the sky, which is rapidly changing from bright blue to pitch black.  
“It looks like we’ll have to camp out till the next time change. Darn~”  
Why do you get the feeling he’s not as dejected at this turn of events as he appears? Oh right, because this is Wonderland and you’re not a fucking idiot.  
You grudgingly help set up the tent, which seemed much smaller on the outside than it really was. Ah well, more space for you to put between you and Ace. Together you get it up in no time, and Ace brings out a few sandwiches from god-only-knows where. You sniff at it, trying to smell any kind of possible tampering, and take a small bite. Then a bigger bite. Then you shove the rest in your mouth.   
What? You haven’t eaten in hours!  
Ace seems amused by this. You send him a glare, then burrow yourself into your sleeping bag. Psh, who is he to judge you? At least you aren’t a murdering idiot who can’t take four steps in any direction before getting lost.  
You stay there for a while, doing your best to pretend to sleep. You here Ace shuffle around the tent, coming very close o you a few times, but never touching you. Good. You didn’t want Ace to touch you… or run his hand through your hair… or kiss you…  
God, you’re stupid when you’re tired. You should just get to sleep already…  
Heartbeat  
Hmmmm, it's so nice and warm. You dream of mushy things that you would never admit to when you wake. Things like whispered words, gentle kisses, and warm arms holding you closely. They cradle you, hands softly stroking your (h/l), (h/c) hair. You sigh contentedly against your dream mans chest, and the arms tighten around you... Arms too real to be a dream.  
Your (e/c) eyes shoot open, and you begin to thrash. It does nothing, no matter how hard you try, Ace-cause it could only be Ace- just chuckled and tightened his grip. There's no point in screaming, the two of you were deep in the woods, the only things that would hear you were whatever nocturnal animals Wonderland housed. You did it anyways, curse words spewing from your mouth at the top of your lungs. Eventually, you grow silent and still, waiting to see what your companion will do now.  
It's quiet for a few moments, as if you've stunned even the crickets with your potty mouth. Then Ace speaks, and it's different than how he usually sounds. The tone is cheerful... but there's an edge to it, sharp and noticeable like the blade of a knife... Or a sword.  
"My~ Those were some pretty naughty words (y/n). Where did you learn them, I wonder? Perhaps Black Joker? Or was it a lover left behind in your world?"  
You freeze. You had never spoken about your ex. The subject was a taboo for you... N-not because it still hurt or anything, just because you knew all the idiots in Wonderland would feel jealous or try and comfort you when you were just fine. Ace couldn't possibly know about him... right?  
"Ah~ Did I touch a nerve? I'm sorry, I just wanted to see why your heart is beating so fast. I can see your pulse jumping in your pretty little neck. Is it because of the thought of your lover?"  
You regain your voice, finally, though it is a bit more shaky than you had hoped.  
"N-no! Don't talk about him, you bastard!"  
Ace pulls you up more until you are face-to-face, his red eyes meeting your terrified (e/c).  
"So if it's not him who has you so worked up, who could it possibly be? Julius? Joker? Or perhaps... Me?"  
At that last word, his arms grip you and turn you around. Now you are laying on the ground face up, arms gripped in one of Aces large hands. His other is pulling down your shirt ever so casually. You try to buck up your hips to dislodge him, but that just makes his grin widen.  
"Hehe~ Let's save that for later, shall we? What I want right now is to hear your heart race."  
He positions his head on your breast, listening to your wildly thumping heart. God your so scared, but mixed in with that fear was a sliver of excitement rapidly growing. Ace is attractive, you silently admit to yourself, and strong and dangerous and honest and everything your ex wasn't. Your eyes are fixed on Ace, and his on yours. They're so strange, so beautifully strange...  
"A-Ace"  
Your voice is barely audible, a whisper of a whisper. Still, Ace heard it, though you aren't sure how with how loud your heart is beating.   
"Yes (y/n)?"  
Why does he sound so fucking casual while you're barely able to keep your composure, or what little of it you have left? His free hand is stoking your side gently, slowly traveling lower to your hip bone. It feels... Too good, it's making your head fuzzy.  
"A-Ace, please." You're not sure whether you're asking him to stop or to continue.  
Ace, that bastard, moves up from your exposed chest to mouth at your pulse point. You give a startled moan and shudder. He nips, not at all gently, and you gasp. Fuck, what is he doing to you? You can still see his eyes, ruby red. It suits him.  
"You're mine now, (y/n). Now and forever."  
Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Th-Th-That's all, folks! Had some trouble writing this one, I'm pretty much the exact opposite of tsundere, but it was a fun challenge! Now I'm going to repeat what I said at the end of the last chapter in case anyone didn't read it and is now, for some reason, reading this. Here's how it goes. I'll take any readerxwhoever requests as long as it follows these three golden rules:
> 
> Nothing that could make me change this from T to M.
> 
> Nothing too specific. (I don't mind clarification, just don't take it too far and give me Every. Last. Detail.)
> 
> No gore/rape/murder. Unless it's Blood. Jk, not even him.
> 
> If you ask for any of these, I will do one of to things: Ignore you or point and laugh, then ignore you. 
> 
> Lastly, please review me with any compliments, criticisms, or expressions of love and devotion you may have. Signing off, this has been SariaHael on A Simple Readers Weirdness. Stay tuned for more updates in our continuing story.

**Author's Note:**

> If you can’t tell, I had no idea how to end this, so if there’s a lone beta out there who wants to help me out, I would be very thankful. Anyways, about the readerxwhoever requests, here are the simple rules  
> 1\. No lemon. Nothing that would make me change this from T to M.  
> 2\. You can specify, but don’t over-specify.  
> (ex-I want her to be really nice but not too nice and I want Boris to love her but feel conflicted because Ace also loves her and they’re best friends and for Blood to be mixed in there too)  
> 3\. No gore/rape/murder  
> That’s it! Send me a message if you have a request! If not, comment and tell me how you loved it! If you didn’t love it, tell me what I should fix! In short, COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!


End file.
